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- abaircraft554
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Family member is terrified of flying!
Hey guys, I practically spend all of my time researching planes, for pleasure but also the physics side of things such as flying into a headwind and tailwind and the effect on groundspeed and IAS etc. My grandma always says things such as "I don't need to get a new passport as I'll never get on a plane again" and "I won't fly again as four planes went down in 2 months" (referring to the 2014 air disasters in a short space of time.) I always try to tell her positive things about flying but she sometimes changes the subject and even says things I can't logically reply to such as a lot of planes "went down". I bet she doesn't remember the numerous accidents in the 70s right? Yet just because her right wing bigoted paper remarks upon every single aspect of aviation it is distorting her mind. I always prepare a speech for her to explain how safe aviation is yet as the subject is rarely discussed especially in her negative mindset, and when she says something like flying isn't safe, I am physically and mentally stunned and even though I could throw statistics at her I never can because it's like she takes a piece of my heart away. I have been researching aviation for 15 years now ( I am 22) and what makes it even more upsetting is my granddad, when he was alive and 25 years or so old, was in the Royal Air Force for 10 years and flew rigorously (as a passenger). He was stationed at Akritiri in Cyprus and her sisters want to go to Cyprus with her but she wont even contemplate the idea. She said something tonight and ever since I've felt extremely depressed and helpless. I just want her to fly again, especially because of my granddad, is there anything I can do or are my words useless?
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- abaircraft554
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Re: Family member is terrified of flying!
Btw I'm not trying to bring politics into this when I say right wing, just that it is a paper know for being very right wing and as typically in my country a paper that likes to exaggerate and scaremonger
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- UnitedIsBae
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Re: Family member is terrified of flying!
I would tell her that safety has improved DRAMATICALLY in the past 20 years. Most accidents aren't caused by controlled factors if they do happen. And what airline? If you are in a developed country, they for sure have strict regulations and maintenance requirements to ensure safety. If this does not work, ask me again.
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- abaircraft554
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Re: Family member is terrified of flying!
Thanks for you reply. True, does pilot error not count as controlled? I live in the UK so probs EasyJet who have never even written off an aircraft let alone have a fatality. That's kinda what annoys me. I will try what you said although one accident she often brings up is MH370 but that's just a single event. Thanks for the advice.
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- SheikhDjibouti
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Re: Family member is terrified of flying!
abaircraft554 wrote:If she's happy in her world as it is, the simple solution is to let her be.My grandma always says things such as "I don't need to get a new passport as I'll never get on a plane again" and "I won't fly again as four planes went down in 2 months" (referring to the 2014 air disasters in a short space of time.) I always try to tell her positive things about flying but she sometimes changes the subject and even says things I can't logically reply to
It could even be the case that it isn't really flying that is the problem. Maybe she's just happy staying at home, with her familiar things and her familiar world. Does she need the stress of a busy airport terminal, going through security, and all that even before you get on the plane. Then there is the matter of spending time in a foreign country with strange food and a strange language. As an older woman, chances are she doesn't really want to be that far away from a toilet, at any time. And that's something the younger generation have no idea about.
Seriously, it might not be flying that is the main issue.
You just want her to fly again.....She said something tonight and ever since I've felt extremely depressed and helpless. I just want her to fly again, especially because of my granddad, is there anything I can do or are my words useless?
It should be 100% what does she want.
And she has already made that quite clear.
I'm sure your heart is in the right place, but this is one to walk away from. Look for other ways to make her remaining years happy & blissful.
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- abaircraft554
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Re: Family member is terrified of flying!
Thanks for your input Sheikh. I get what you are saying there. If she doesn't want to fly then so be it, I just can't accept her telling me it's dangerous, I suppose its because she believes some story over my 15 years of knowledge (and I've barely even scratched the surface, as you can imagine). Maybe it's because I'm young that it annoys me, it's not just with flying she says other things but it's along the same lines. Everything is dangerous and negative to her yet she'll happily get into a car lol. You're right about the stress of it, that's a very good point. Where she'd be going is an extremely popular british destination so there'd always be options in terms of food etc. You're right though older people like what's familiar to them. But she definitely doesn't need to be near a toilet, she finds it abnormal that sometimes I use the bathroom twice every two hours lol 
I guess I don't want her to have any regrets as I know she does want to go to Cyprus she has stated that many times. I think the main reason I feel like this is because her sisters are the same age (70-80, some older than her) and happily fly all over the place. Her beloved paper has led to her downfall unfortunately and she's smoking the pipe they gave to her. I probably should walk away tbh, I just always have hope. Much respect Sheikh
I guess I don't want her to have any regrets as I know she does want to go to Cyprus she has stated that many times. I think the main reason I feel like this is because her sisters are the same age (70-80, some older than her) and happily fly all over the place. Her beloved paper has led to her downfall unfortunately and she's smoking the pipe they gave to her. I probably should walk away tbh, I just always have hope. Much respect SheikhRe: Family member is terrified of flying!
In order for her to fly, she has to consider the possibility of flying and be open to the idea of flying. If she doesn't want to fly, she's not going to fly.
Does she want to even go to Cyprus? Whose idea is it to go to Cyprus?
I did have a colleague whose fiance was deathly afraid of flying. She couldn't convince him to fly to their honeymoon. So she had him visit with me and he could ask anything he wanted about flying to reassure himself. In the end nothing I could do or say could convince him to either fly or not fly. He had to be open to the idea of flying first before he would agree to sit down with me to discuss flying.
In the end, he did decide to fly. He did appreciate my explanations to allay his fears, but he couldn't get to that point unless he took the first step to be open to the idea of flying.
Your grandmother is not to that point. yet or if ever. Just love and accept your grandmother for the person she is.
Does she want to even go to Cyprus? Whose idea is it to go to Cyprus?
I did have a colleague whose fiance was deathly afraid of flying. She couldn't convince him to fly to their honeymoon. So she had him visit with me and he could ask anything he wanted about flying to reassure himself. In the end nothing I could do or say could convince him to either fly or not fly. He had to be open to the idea of flying first before he would agree to sit down with me to discuss flying.
In the end, he did decide to fly. He did appreciate my explanations to allay his fears, but he couldn't get to that point unless he took the first step to be open to the idea of flying.
Your grandmother is not to that point. yet or if ever. Just love and accept your grandmother for the person she is.
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- CosmicCruiser
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Re: Family member is terrified of flying!
Like others have aid, just let her be. You (anyone) can't change anyone's mind unless they want to change. You know it's safe and I know it's safe so be happy you know what you know. My sister would never get in a plane even though my dad and I were pilots until just recently when she decided SHE WANTED to go somewhere. It doesn't matter if it's quitting smoking, eating healthier or flying really.
Re: Family member is terrified of flying!
I say hit her with some statistics. Statistically it is known that flying is safer than taking a bath.
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- CosmicCruiser
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Re: Family member is terrified of flying!
no because like any other situation I spoke of earlier people will always face the statistics with "yes but...". forget it.
Re: Family member is terrified of flying!
CosmicCruiser wrote:no because like any other situation I spoke of earlier people will always face the statistics with "yes but...". forget it.
To get someone to move from opinionation to argumentation is to get them to make a transformation in how they support their belief and ultimately what beliefs they hold. You are saying that it is unnecessary to even try. I hated olives for over 20 years, but my wife kept insisting that I will begin to like them. Do I love them today? No, but I can easily eat a pizza with olives nowadays. Why not try to explain how safe it is? It could at least make them less scared.
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