FAhubs
Topic Author
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2019 8:11 pm

Rules for married couples in this life?

Sun Feb 10, 2019 8:36 pm

My wife is a FA. I live the same lifestyle. I know it’s hard with marriages. We’re discussing setting different rules for ourselves on the road to protect us from certain situations. The idea is that what’s normal in this lifestyle isn’t necessarily good for us. Anyone done something similar and have any ideas for ones they’ve used? Thanks in advance.
 
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DarkSnowyNight
Posts: 2133
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2012 7:59 pm

Re: Rules for married couples in this life?

Sun Feb 10, 2019 11:59 pm

It would help if you were a little more specific. Are we talking about fidelity issues? Attendance? Being able to socialize?
Much like a GE90, I'm a huge fan of Big Twins...
 
KFLLCFII
Posts: 3383
Joined: Sat Sep 11, 2004 7:08 am

Re: Rules for married couples in this life?

Mon Feb 11, 2019 2:58 am

I'm going to read between the lines that all the "we"s and "us"s in your post should actually be "she"s and "her"s, and whether you realize it or not, you're trying to rationalize her irrational relationship demands by playing along.

No matter what "rules" you (she) decides to enforce, her end game will be to rationalize keeping what is yours ("you did go along with the other 'rules', after all, and it would only be 'right' of you to give me what I deserve"), and then proceed to monkey-branch onto the next man of her desire which she acquired incidentally to the "rules" you agreed to.

If I were you, I'd pull the "eject" handle ASAP and cut your losses before they have a chance to mount even greater.

You're already staring down the rabbit hole.
"About the only way to look at it, just a pity you are not POTUS KFLLCFII, seems as if we would all be better off."
 
910A
Posts: 1536
Joined: Sat Apr 04, 2015 2:11 am

Re: Rules for married couples in this life?

Mon Feb 11, 2019 3:05 am

Odd topic for the person's first post.
 
jetero
Posts: 4457
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2014 3:45 am

Re: Rules for married couples in this life?

Mon Feb 11, 2019 6:03 am

Odd verbiage to begin with. “I live the same lifestyle.”
 
afcjets
Posts: 2373
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2015 6:20 pm

Re: Rules for married couples in this life?

Mon Feb 11, 2019 6:08 am

IMO the only way this post makes since is if same in the second sentence is a typo for swinger.
 
TTailedTiger
Posts: 609
Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2018 5:19 am

Re: Rules for married couples in this life?

Mon Feb 11, 2019 6:27 am

If I ever decided to get married then it would have to be an open relationship. I believe you can still be in love with each but still see other people occasionally. I like veal but I wouldn't want to eat it the rest of my life every night. I would still love my wife but wouldn't want to only sleep with her the rest of my life.
 
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johnboy
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Re: Rules for married couples in this life?

Mon Feb 11, 2019 9:55 am

TTailedTiger wrote:
If I ever decided to get married then it would have to be an open relationship. I believe you can still be in love with each but still see other people occasionally. I like veal but I wouldn't want to eat it the rest of my life every night. I would still love my wife but wouldn't want to only sleep with her the rest of my life.


My bf and I subscribe to this. Works out well AS LONG AS you’d communication between one another is excellent.
 
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Zeppi
Posts: 76
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Re: Rules for married couples in this life?

Mon Feb 11, 2019 11:25 am

If you need any "rules" you have the wrong partner, but that's just my humble oppinion...
 
aviationaware
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Re: Rules for married couples in this life?

Mon Feb 11, 2019 11:31 am

I can only warn, open relationships don't work. It's like a plague in the gay community. Nobody wants a faithful relationship, everyone wants to keep hooking up and relationships are very weak and people totally neurotic as a result.

If you can't keep your dick in your pants you have the wrong partner.
 
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fr8mech
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Re: Rules for married couples in this life?

Mon Feb 11, 2019 1:51 pm

Zeppi wrote:
If you need any "rules" you have the wrong partner, but that's just my humble oppinion...



This! Right here.

If you’re setting rules and parameters, you’re on the wrong path.

I’ve been married for 22 years, and I used to travel a lot for work. We never set up “rules”.

I didn't spend money we didn’t have. I didn’t flirt with women...not because it was “wrong” to do so while married, it was because I didn’t, and still don’t want to. I never drank so much that my common sense couldn’t overrule what my alcohol addled brain contrived.
When seconds count...the police are minutes away.
Unless it's expressly prohibited, it's allowed.
You are not entitled to a public safe space.
 
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DL717
Posts: 1039
Joined: Wed May 23, 2018 10:53 pm

Re: Rules for married couples in this life?

Mon Feb 11, 2019 1:51 pm

FAhubs wrote:
My wife is a FA. I live the same lifestyle. I know it’s hard with marriages. We’re discussing setting different rules for ourselves on the road to protect us from certain situations. The idea is that what’s normal in this lifestyle isn’t necessarily good for us. Anyone done something similar and have any ideas for ones they’ve used? Thanks in advance.


If you’re asking this question, your relationship is already over. You just don’t know it yet.
Putting one on ignore does not squelch speech or debate, it’s quiets the noise.
 
afcjets
Posts: 2373
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2015 6:20 pm

Re: Rules for married couples in this life?

Mon Feb 11, 2019 2:08 pm

I think some of the responses here are a bit extreme. IMO lust is a natural human condition for most people, some experience it more than others, it doesn’t mean you have to act on it. Having rules can limit your exposure to lust, but you can also have rules for yourself and encourage her to do the same if she feels she needs to. It might turn her on that you trust her and are confident enough not to impose rules on her and she would be less likely to want another man. If it’s fake though she will see right through it. My advice is work on yourself.
 
FAhubs
Topic Author
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2019 8:11 pm

Re: Rules for married couples in this life?

Mon Feb 11, 2019 2:52 pm

afcjets wrote:
I think some of the responses here are a bit extreme. IMO lust is a natural human condition for most people, some experience it more than others, it doesn’t mean you have to act on it. Having rules can limit your exposure to lust, but you can also have rules for yourself and encourage her to do the same if she feels she needs to. It might turn her on that you trust her and are confident enough not to impose rules on her and she would be less likely to want another man. If it’s fake though she will see right through it. My advice is work on yourself.


I enjoyed some of the responses. Rules was probably a bad word choice. More boundaries to limit exposure long term as you put it. This isn’t about us putting demands on the other. It’s a mutual idea to protect ourselves. No ejecting to be done today. I guess I thought others might have similar ideas. I guess we’re the weird ones. Oh well. Thanks anyways.
 
jetero
Posts: 4457
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2014 3:45 am

Re: Rules for married couples in this life?

Mon Feb 11, 2019 9:02 pm

aviationaware wrote:
I can only warn, open relationships don't work. It's like a plague in the gay community. Nobody wants a faithful relationship, everyone wants to keep hooking up and relationships are very weak and people totally neurotic as a result.

If you can't keep your dick in your pants you have the wrong partner.


Huh, I don’t have that problem.

(Is that how you talk to your prospective boyfriends, AA? “You better keep your dick in your pants”? What a charmer as always!)
 
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TSS
Posts: 2812
Joined: Fri Dec 29, 2006 3:52 pm

Re: Rules for married couples in this life?

Mon Feb 11, 2019 10:29 pm

fr8mech wrote:
Zeppi wrote:
If you need any "rules" you have the wrong partner, but that's just my humble oppinion...


This! Right here.

If you’re setting rules and parameters, you’re on the wrong path.

I’ve been married for 22 years, and I used to travel a lot for work. We never set up “rules”.

I didn't spend money we didn’t have. I didn’t flirt with women...not because it was “wrong” to do so while married, it was because I didn’t, and still don’t want to. I never drank so much that my common sense couldn’t overrule what my alcohol addled brain contrived.


You're absolutely right, but the real trick is to not get hooked up with one of these types-

Image

A relationship-ending argument I had once began because I ran into someone I went to high school with while getting gas on the way home and spent +/- 20 minutes catching up with them, making me a similar amount of time later than usual getting home. To be clear, dinner wasn't waiting on the table and we had no particular plans that night, but you'd have thought I had disappeared for an entire weekend without explanation by the reaction I got. Uh-uh, no more: Your partner either trusts you or they don't, and if they don't then they need to break it off with you and go hassle somebody else. Life is too short to put up with that BS.
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