I haven't posted in the more controversial threads here, or anywhere else lately, because some things have happened that have forced me to reevaluate some things. I have decided that I will no longer debate/argue/fight with people I don't know, haven't met and will probably never meet. People whose minds or opinions I will never change. People who insult instead of debate or admit wrong when they are backed into a corner.

Life is to short and precious to to stay angry or offended. To be in a perpetual state of agitation. To look for reasons to be angry or offended.

My reason:

Something called Extrapulmonary Small Cell Carcinoma.

Suddenly, I can't get enough of seeing my beautiful children (14 and 10). Listening to them talk. Watching them sleep (I've been doing a bit of that lately). Seeing them at practice and their games. They are indifferent athletes, yet, now, I can't get enough of watching them. I can go on and on, but I won't.

I can't say enough about my wife, my best friend. I can't even begin...

All, I'm not telling you this to garner sympathy or empathy or anything else. I tell you this so that you may turn inside, just for a moment, and reevaluate what you do. Not because what you're doing is bad or good or wasteful or hurtful or indifferent or whatever. But, because when faced with a semi-firm expiration date, a lot of things we think are important just aren't.

I'll probably lurk around when I can and post here and there.

Best of luck to all of you.

I'm very sorry to hear this. I wish you a very speedy recovery process, and I wish your family the best and all the strength in the world.

You got this.

-Sam

I am so sorry and wish you the best. I also have been around this forum too long and seen the ugliest of people in their quest to silence people that don't agree with their world view. You are right, life is too short.

I really, really hope you can somehow fight through this. I read about it and that didn't sound good.


I also agree about enjoying life as much as you can while you are able to.

Good luck.

Stay strong buddy. Wishing the best for you and your family.

fr8mech wrote:

My reason:

Something called Extrapulmonary Small Cell Carcinoma.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I graduated medical school 12 years ago. At the time, I believe this particular kind of cancer carried a uniformly and absolutely horrible prognosis.

In the last few years, advances in immunostimulatory monoclonal antibody therapy may have changed that. Or maybe it hasn't changed. I'm no adult oncologist, but I wish you the best of luck.

fr8mech wrote:

Life is to short and precious to to stay angry or offended. To be in a perpetual state of agitation. To look for reasons to be angry or offended.
[...]
a lot of things we think are important just aren't.

Life is too brief but it is wondrous. I wish you the best and better, time is precious.

Tugg

Sorry to hear that bro. One of the pleasures of getting older I guess. I am 53 I have Diabetes, Asthma, Skin cancer on my scalp, A spot on my lung, had quadruple bypass recently. Like someone just told me our next breath is not guaranteed. Have a good buddy that's my age. Has stage 4 cancer they were going to do a radical surgery called HIPEC they opened him up and closed him up said you're too far gone can't help you. One thing you do have is a loving wife and kids. I never was lucky enough to have either. Went my whole life and never found that right person. Like DocLightning said in your case in what you have they have made great strides so don't count yourself out just yet. I do get mad tho too many people I love have been a victim to cancer and we haven't made the progress that we should have after all the money and research we have put into it. You would think we would have something better than Chemo. My take its a money making thing I don't think they want a cure. Feel free to jump in DocLightning.

DocLightning wrote:

I believe this particular kind of cancer carried a uniformly and absolutely horrible prognosis.

As of my last CT(s), which was also my first, there was no dissemination. The only tumor present (the one I could feel) was removed. PET Scan & MRI on Monday for baseline imaging and comparison to the CT. Chemo right after the tests are analyzed. Radiation is a possibility.

stratosphere wrote:

Like DocLightning said in your case in what you have they have made great strides so don't count yourself out just yet.

I will not go willingly, but I am a realist. I understand the odds.

I want to say i got the point of your post. hope you don't mind if i give you some dumb advice.


I've had MS for years, while it's not life threatening, like cancer. I've learned my body has limitations, and to respect them. You will need to do the same until you're better. Feeling run down, lie down. Having a great day, enjoy it to the fullest. i told you it was dumb advice.

Best of luck to you and your family.

I've missed you recently. Always enjoyed reading your views. Didn't agree much, but they were reasoned and coherent.

Nothing in this world is more important than our children. Enjoy them and hold them close to your heart.

One thing that made my father's passing a little over a year ago was knowing that there was never a day in my life that I did not know how much my parents loved me.

Make sure your children have that to remember.

Prayers for a successful treatment.

I'm very sorry to hear that. I wish you and your family all the best and I really hope you'll emerge victorious from this fight.
As far as reevaluation of priorities is concerned, I fully understand where you're coming from. I went through the same process in two phases recently. First due to Mrs. Wildcat's touch with breast cancer and then due to my own trouble, when some bacteria I never heard about before decided that the best place for it to grow would be my aortic valve (Infective Endocarditis). There was even a moment when it looked like that's it...
Many things that looked so important before are suddenly negligible. The only really important thing is the family. Nothing else matters. I wish we could do important decisions like this without a touch with death.

Hey mate, I hear you loud and clear.
I've been in the same situation, a few times.
Telling my kids I had six weeks (especially as I had no symptoms) to live was the hardest thing I've ever done. That was seven years ago this week actually.
I beat the odds. I live a relatively normal life, but am dependent on a range of drugs to keep me alive.
Never give up.
My kids are now teenagers. They are my focus, my life, and like you I treasure every moment with them in the knowledge that one day, the odds will inevitably flip and I will leave them without warning.
Like you I read the vitriol and hatred in certain threads on here and feel sorry for those people. I am stubborn and opinionated myself but I reign that in as it's simply not worth flaming people for their opinions. I prefer to nuture and encourage.
Take care mate.
In your dark moments, look for the little joys and focus on them. My Tagline here says "I wanna live while I'm alive", and that's the mantra of my life.
All the best from the Other side of the world,
Bunumuring

I'm sorry to hear this, I wish you best of luck and hope you will make it. Life is indeed more fragile and uncertain than we often like to think, best to enjoy the good while it lasts...

bunumuring wrote:

Telling my kids I had six weeks (especially as I had no symptoms) to live was the hardest thing I've ever done.

That's what we're struggling with. My kids know I had a tumor removed. The 14 year old knows it was cancer, the 10 year old does not. After the chemo counseling session next week, the wife and I will sit down with them and discuss it.

bunumuring wrote:

In your dark moments, look for the little joys and focus on them.

I know it. Hell, I'm going bowling today for the first time in a decade, just because the boy asked me to.

Best of luck to you, there is nothing more important than good health.

Hey mate,
I know everyone's different, but I told everyone asap about my diagnosis and prognosis.
I told my kids all and immediately. They were 9 and 7 at the time. I had counsellors organised for them at school the very next day. Last year when I faced life-threatening surgery again, and I was advised to organise my funeral and ensure that my will was up to date, my kids helped me plan my funeral and know my wishes for it. They knew what to expect IF I didn't make it and it was a great comfort to me and to them moving forward. They had tremendous family and community support and still do. I am a single father and so such things are critically important and comforting to me.
One little thing: have you considered writing a daily journal or diary? Getting your thoughts and feelings and emotions down on paper is therapeutic. Allowing your wife and possibly kids read it will help them understand what u are going through, all the things that are so damn hard to say face to face, but need to be communicated. It really helped me, and it helped my kids and parents.
Mate, Im here with you. I wish I could do more for you and for your family. I truly do.
I know what it's like.
Bunumuring.

I'm not sure if you're religious or not, but let me tell you, I'm throwing a few prayers up there for you. Be strong; you can and will beat this.

My thought are very much with you too...

My run-in with the big C was a much easier fight as I was lucky to have gotten a very manageable disease, yet just that was enough to nearly ruin my life.
And that was only a hint of what you must be going through.

I agree with Bunumuring, you need to sort things out with your family first. They are your greatest worry and also your greatest strength. Once you have told them what they need to know, once they have made (relative) peace with the possibility of your passing and all material things are sorted in that event, then your minds will be lighter and you can serenely look for the light at the end of the tunnel - there is one! - and gather the strength to get to it.

Best of luck. This is not an ordeal I'd wish on my worst enemy.

bunumuring wrote:

I know everyone's different, but I told everyone asap about my diagnosis and prognosis.

Since I appear healthy, we decided to wait until the chemo counseling session, so that we would have as many answers as possible for them. I plan on letting the school folks know, so the counselor is aware. Note, that a lot of the school folks are also friends and acquaintances, so some know a little. Quite frankly, a lot of this has sprung up so fast, there hasn't been time.

I've got a call setup for my siblings later today. They know the general stuff, but I want us all on the same page as to prognosis and treatment.

bunumuring wrote:

One little thing: have you considered writing a daily journal or diary?

Funny you should say that, I started one yesterday. Seems like a great idea, since I'm having all these random thoughts that I want to capture.

EA CO AS wrote:

I'm not sure if you're religious or not, but let me tell you, I'm throwing a few prayers up there for you. Be strong; you can and will beat this

Not overtly religious, but thank you for your prayers.

Fr8mech, I know it's no immediate help but have a look at this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6SzI2ZfPd4

There is always hope, and in the most unlikely of places. How scientists and doctors are using the HIV virus to actually eradicate cancers in patients with no other hope of survival. This sort of stuff is cutting edge and coming about so fast nowadays, as doctors begin to understand that modifying the body's immune system is a powerful anti-cancer treatment. It's rolling out extensively nowadays.

A virtual squeeze from me too. Keep fighting, never give up.

That sucks fr8, I am sorry. What you said is right and I would be lucky to learn something from that.

Would imagine that "real" friends and family are what matter. Keep us in mind though... share your thoughts or whatever, I feel more like listening than talking.

fr8mech wrote:

Life is to short and precious to to stay angry or offended. To be in a perpetual state of agitation. To look for reasons to be angry or offended.

In deed, YOLO is not just a stupid thing to say, it is in fact true. Make the best of it and may progress turn a bad diagnoses around!

best regards
Thomas

Sorry to hear it. I hope things work out for the best.

I wish you the best on your treatment and outcome.

Family should always come first and I think life altering situations always are a call for a bit more introspection.

Post when you can, and post what you want. In 12 years here, sometimes I post more, sometimes I post less. But it is a good sounding board for opinions, and whether you hate them or not, at least you get an idea of what people are thinking.

Hey guys,
It's so heartening to read all the positive messages. A.net is a community and it's great to see members taking time out to consider the welfare of other community members.
Cheers,
Bunumuring.

Thought I'd give a quick update.

Chemo and radiation are in work this week. There was a delay due to something popping up on the PET scan that the doc wanted to follow-up on. Can't believe how tired I feel after one chemo session, but I was told to expect that due to the nature of the drugs/poisons being introduced into my body.

No effects from the radiation, but I don't expect to see anything there until week 3 or 4. They are targeting my neck, so eating will not only be a problem due to the chemo, but swallowing will become a chore.

All in all, with the PET scan result, and the addition of radiation, my prognosis has improved but still not Vegas betting odds.

Well, I'll check in while I can.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

Sorry to hear about this. Wishing you all the best. Don't be afraid of reaching out to us if you need something.

bunumuring wrote:

Hey guys,
It's so heartening to read all the positive messages. A.net is a community and it's great to see members taking time out to consider the welfare of other community members.
Cheers,
Bunumuring.

At the end of the day, there's one thing that brings us here: our love for aviation. We may have differences of opinions and we may be completely polar opposites, but when all is said and done, those always take a backseat to situations like these. I may not agree with the OP, but I know when to set aside my differences and wish him well.

fr8mech wrote:

Well, I'll check in while I can.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

Keep checking in, remember that old chestnut that a problem shared is a problem halved. Having somewhere to vent or just even talk about it is so important. Sometimes it's hard to talk one to one with those closest to us such as spouses or immediate family, so use your online friends here as willing listeners.

When I had my health scare last year I remember just how isolating it all felt, despite having people round me. And that's no good. So if you are that minded, come here and share as much as you want to. There will always be people here to listen and share with who won't be judgmental about it and offer you their support.

Thinking of you mate. Stay strong.

fr8mech wrote:

Thought I'd give a quick update.

Chemo and radiation are in work this week. There was a delay due to something popping up on the PET scan that the doc wanted to follow-up on. Can't believe how tired I feel after one chemo session, but I was told to expect that due to the nature of the drugs/poisons being introduced into my body.

No effects from the radiation, but I don't expect to see anything there until week 3 or 4. They are targeting my neck, so eating will not only be a problem due to the chemo, but swallowing will become a chore.

All in all, with the PET scan result, and the addition of radiation, my prognosis has improved but still not Vegas betting odds.

Well, I'll check in while I can.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

You will feel pretty tired from it, a friend of mine, someone in her family had all of this, he really got quite weak, and as a result of his surgery and the following treatment (chemo and the tablets), he couldn't eat much either, so he ended up very thin.

Just hang in there, and we are all here for you, even if it's not as good as having someone there in person.

How are things going this week, man?

fr8mech wrote:

Thought I'd give a quick update.

Chemo and radiation are in work this week. There was a delay due to something popping up on the PET scan that the doc wanted to follow-up on. Can't believe how tired I feel after one chemo session, but I was told to expect that due to the nature of the drugs/poisons being introduced into my body.

No effects from the radiation, but I don't expect to see anything there until week 3 or 4. They are targeting my neck, so eating will not only be a problem due to the chemo, but swallowing will become a chore.

All in all, with the PET scan result, and the addition of radiation, my prognosis has improved but still not Vegas betting odds.

Well, I'll check in while I can.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

Prayers Bud!

Well, definitely feeling tired. Had no appetite and all kinds of nausea this weekend. Could barely get out of my chair. I've dropped 11 pounds in just a few days. I'm sure that has something to do with the fatigue.

Was able to eat pretty well today, compared to last week. Hope to put on a few pounds while I can, but food is still a touchy subject.

All-in-all, it is what I was told to expect.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

fr8mech wrote:

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

More prayer coming your way.

I thoughts are always with fellow anutters.

Okie

Once again, thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

I'm doing well, and had more energy this past weekend than I've had in a while. But, I was warned that this week would see my blood chemistry crash, and it did. My counts are all over the place, and boy, can I feel it. Fatigue. I can't seem to walk more than a few steps before I feel tired.

On the plus side, I'm eating pretty well, and have gained some of what I've lost. Not all the way back, but some.

I didn't understand what the docs/nurses/practitioners meant when they told me that my body was more metabolically active and that I would be burning a whole lot more calories doing nothing. But, now I see. I've been taking in 2500-3000 calories/day over the last few days and have barely gained back weight. Before the chemo/radiation, I'd have gained weight faster than I could add a hole to my belt.

Back to the original post about reevaluating priorities and perspectives. Something else happened this past week that made me look inward again. A dear friend of mine died last week while with his family on the Gulf Shores. A vacation we have taken together as families a few times in the past. He went into the water to pull his daughter and her friend from the water when they got caught in an undertow. The girls were pulled from the water and were treated by EMS/hospital staff. Kevin came out of the water and collapsed from a heart attack. He lingered another 18 hours and passed. He was 50.

We buried him today.

I wrote this as a reminder to you and myself...life turns on a dime. Savor it.

Again, thank you for your prayers and thoughts. Chemo starts again next week.

Wow, I'm sorry to hear about your friend! You definitely hit the nail on the head though; life does indeed turn on a dime.

I continue to pray that the upcoming turns ahead for you are all positive ones and lead to a full recovery. Keep fighting the good fight, fr8!

Mate,
Keeping striving, keep believing, hold the faith that gives you comfort at night.
Fight the darkness, draw your family close.
Reflect on your friend, celebrate his memory.
Immerse yourself in our a.net community and cloak yourself in our continuing warm wishes and prayers.
Cheers mate,
Bunumuring

Thought I'd provide an update for those interested, plus it helps me a little, I think.

I've been in the hospital since Thursday with something they call Neutropenic Fever. Basically, I was running a fever (102.3) while my blood chemistry had, all-but, collapsed. I've been on a couple of different antibiotics and an anti fungal, while attached to a morphine pump due to mouth/throat pain from the radiation.

I've been fever free for 60 hours, but have a lingering case of pneumonia that's going to keep me here until it clears.

Radiation has been stopped, but all treatments are scheduled to restart on Monday, so long as I'm 'healthy' enough for it to happen.

I'm not sure exactly how touch-and-go I was actually was, but I can tell you, I was scared to death.

Thanks for taking a moment to read the update, and as always, thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

I really hope you pull through FR8. Oddly I was thinking of posting a question yesterday to check in but figured you'd give us an update when ready.

In the immortal words..we're all counting on you. This forum really does lack in semi normal conservatives.

You are in my thoughts, I wish you well and a solid return to health. I know the reality, my wife is also going through something similar, but hope and family and friends are what sustain us.

Tugg

Keep fighting fr8mech, Pneumonia is no small matter at any point, and to think it is a complication of other items is hard to grasp for me. Take some time to reset and relax while in the hospital, and keep going.

I do not know how I missed this thread for so long.

There really are no adequate words for me to use. I can and will say that I wish you and your family the best of luck with your struggle.

keep up the fight!

Very sorry to hear about the latest bout.

have any tests or scans been completed since the onset of treatment? If so, how do they look/what is the prognosis?

Wishing you nothing but the best.

Best of luck to you. I respect your decision.

So, I guess an update is in order.

Got through that little "rough" spot and continued on with my treatments. Radiation is done, and the modeling shows the mass in my neck appears to be gone, or at least greatly reduced in size. Won't know more until I get a CT and PET Scan. We should be scheduling those for this month.

Two more rounds of chemo to go, and then the waiting. 5 years of waiting until I'm cancer free, with only a 30'ish% chance of that happening. Even then, it's not really done.

I'm just starting to feel and understand the psychological effects of cancer. If I'm not careful, this thing will live in my head forever and consume me. I understand, that while going through the treatments, that's exactly what has to happen. But, later, as I return to normal life, what will that look like in my head?

I understand there is some post-treatment counseling that I will be receiving from the cancer treatment folks. Hopefully, they'll help me through those hurdles.

Personally, I think it's a good and healthy thing that I'm looking beyond the treatment and into some sense of normalcy.

And, for the record, I am pissed that I will not be able to go see U2 in a couple of weeks.

fr8mech wrote:

I'm just starting to feel and understand the psychological effects of cancer. If I'm not careful, this thing will live in my head forever and consume me. I understand, that while going through the treatments, that's exactly what has to happen. But, later, as I return to normal life, what will that look like in my head?

I lost my first friend to cancer when she was 16, she was incredibly strong about it, even gave herself a farewell bbq party when it was clear she wouldn't make it. She used to say something along the lines of "we are all dying since the day we are born, our life can be over any moment (another friend was run over by a car a few month before), at least I know it is coming".

Try to look at it the way she did, you are not really any more certain about death than the rest of us, if Chemo and Radiation turn out to have been successful. I knock on wood for you.

Best regards
Thomas

Sorry I'm late to the party. I was wondering why I hadn't seen you posting in a while, but I hadn't yet read this thread. I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through. I wish you all the best, and hope you're able to fight this. We may disagree on things, but at the end of the day, we're all human. Those disagreements aren't important, but your health is and so is your family. Wishing you all the best.

Oh, after losing my dad last year I am especially sensitive to this issue. In fact, my mom just came to visit me in London and I cannot tell you the many times that I just paused to look at her and just.... enjoy she was there. We get to see each other just once a year, twice when lucky so I just made sure that I just.... enjoyed having her in front of me.

I sure wish you all the best.

fr8mech wrote:

So, I guess an update is in order.

Got through that little "rough" spot and continued on with my treatments. Radiation is done, and the modeling shows the mass in my neck appears to be gone, or at least greatly reduced in size. Won't know more until I get a CT and PET Scan. We should be scheduling those for this month.

Two more rounds of chemo to go, and then the waiting. 5 years of waiting until I'm cancer free, with only a 30'ish% chance of that happening. Even then, it's not really done.

I'm just starting to feel and understand the psychological effects of cancer. If I'm not careful, this thing will live in my head forever and consume me. I understand, that while going through the treatments, that's exactly what has to happen. But, later, as I return to normal life, what will that look like in my head?

I understand there is some post-treatment counseling that I will be receiving from the cancer treatment folks. Hopefully, they'll help me through those hurdles.

Personally, I think it's a good and healthy thing that I'm looking beyond the treatment and into some sense of normalcy.

And, for the record, I am pissed that I will not be able to go see U2 in a couple of weeks.

Take that 30% chance and run with it. Your outlook is very logical and we are all glad you are keeping it together. And the counselling is one of the best things you can do for any tough time.

You got this.